Standing for Marriage Restoration

Posted on December 11, 2008 9:13:40 AM PST

My husband and I are having a hard time and I ran accross this group and I have been crying and praying to God.  A year ago, I cheated on my husband... although I did not have sex with this person... I still allowed another man to make a pass at me and I did not stop it immediatly.  (I know, I was a STUPID GIRL!) I told my husband about it and now we are both hurt and are trying to get through it... even a year later. 

I have recommited my life to Christ and to my marriage.

I know God has forgiven me, I just am at a loss of how I can get my husband to forgive me and forget what happened.  Any suggestions?

Posted on October 14, 2008 10:52:30 AM PDT

Thank you for 1Corinthians 7:13. I am a new member as of today, Yaaaa!. 

 I have allowed Christ and God to take over my life and lead me down His path.  However, my husband has no interest in speaking or learning about the Word.  He was raised catholic and the nuns during caticism never taught the goodness of God.  It was "Thou shall not do this, that or you will be a sinner."  Unfortunately, he had a horrible experience.  We have been married for almost 12 years and he's doing things that I am not proud of.  I have been praying for God to change his heart and if it's my heart that needs to be changed first then let it be done. 

How do I continue to love him and support him when he leads astray through the internet and elsewhere?  I pray and pray and pray and ackowledge all the wonderful things he does do but have a hard time with his sarcasism and smart mouth.  Any scriptures that can help me?  Thanks

Posted on September 27, 2008 11:16:48 AM PDT

Busymom I would like to offer you my support and encoragement by refering you to the book of Corinthians.

1Corinthians 7:13 say "If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace"

So my sister the will of the Lord is that you allow him to leave if he wants to, but you in the meantime pray without ceasing that the Lord will bring him back to you and restore him to the God-fearing man he was before. In God's eyes he is and will remain your husband till death do you part.

I wish you God's best.

Posted on September 21, 2008 4:12:33 PM PDT

Thank you Kindy for starting this discussion group. I whole-heartedly agree with your statement of faith and purpose. I have lived this by the grace of God. I found in a place of being obedient to God, that I stood alone in a Christian culture of indifference to divorce and remarriage. RIC

Posted on April 20, 2008 1:38:38 PM PDT

I don't know of any good advice in this situation especially since your husband is refusing any type of counselling.  He sounds like a little child, screaming at you like that.  I feel really bad for you.  I can understand your feelings about divorce especially since you know how hard it will be.  But, I do agree that it's best to do it "legally" to ensure your child is cared for.  I will be praying for you and your husband and that God will work in his life.  Maybe he just has to be without you to realize what he has.  It won't be as easy for him to make it as he thinks.    If he does leave, at least it will be him leaving and not you.  There is a difference.  And, I know you can make it!  Plus, your family might surprise you and be supportive even if they don't agree. RIC

Posted on April 16, 2008 6:50:20 PM PDT

Searching for advice.  My husband of almost eight years told me tonight that I was to take our three year old and move out by the end of June.  He stopped going to church in January and since then, everything has been downhill.  He added the playboy channel to our television lineup and I've heard him "satisfying" himself in our living room in the wee morning hours while watching this filth on television.  I have remained faithful and committed to our sex life since he started this in January.  I thought things were better and we have been house hunting.  Tonight he tells me he wants to move to a 3 bedroom apartment in the ghetto and I told him I'd rather look elsewhere, where it is safer and there are better schools.  He said he didn't care what I thought and that he planned to have his own bedroom when we moved.  I told him I wasn't okay with this and now he wants divorce.  He's said this kind of stuff before, but never like this.  He cursed at me in front of our son while screaming at the top of his lungs that he hates me.  I do not want to divorce him.  I want him to work through his issues but he is refusing counseling.  He has struggled with depression for quite some time and is not willing to see a doctor.  I feel like I must insist on a legal seperation to protect my son and insure that my husband is bound to provide for him.  I already know that my family will not be supportive of this seperation so I will be completely on my own.  I am a teacher and do not have a huge income and do not see myself having an easy future ahead of me.  Am I stupid to insist on the legal seperation?  I told him that I refused to be the person to file for divorce and that he must do that.  I can't contest it, because then I won't be able to specify the things I'll need to make sure our son is taken care of.  But at least it won't be me who filed.  Any advice here? RIC

Posted on March 29, 2008 8:40:21 AM PDT

bigad615

I'm probably speaking out of turn here, as I haven't been around to learn all the details. But it appears as though your marriage problems are based on your spouses financial dicisions that you feel are irrisponsible and not adequate to support your family. While I know that can be devastating, I'm pretty sure it's not adequate reason to break up a family. Also, it seems that you are determined to move you and your children away from their father. Isn't it a wife's place to stay with her husband though "richer or poorer?" I'm not saying that your husband is right. All marriages have financial dissagreements. If he doesn't love his family or want to be a father to his children, then by all means consider leaving. But if he does love his family, and just wants to support them "his way" have you considered trying to help his build his business? Maybe you have. Have you gotten counseling?  Maybe so. Believe it or not there are worse things that a spouse can do that would warrent leaving him. I don't know the facts, maybe he has done worse things. So I can't say you "shouldn't" leave. Only that you need to make sure you're leaving for the right reasons.  God bless you and your family, and I'm praying He saves your husband and your marriage so that you and your kids can feel secure and cared for without having to split the family.

Posted on March 18, 2008 4:56:21 PM PDT

Hello All-

I have fixed the problem of the T.D. Jakes passage appearing twice, due to my lovely, malfunctioning computer yesterday. I hope that all of you and your families are well. Take care and God bless.

Peace and Love,

Donna

Posted on March 17, 2008 6:21:52 PM PDT

The T.D. Jakes "Let it Go" posted twice due to my computer (just for a change) malfunctioning. Sorry. Hope that all of you ladies and your respective families are all well. Jloski- I am praying for yours and your families' situation at this time. Take care and God bless.

Peace and Love,

Donna

Posted on March 17, 2008 6:08:42 PM PDT

Posted on March 15, 2008 11:53:35 AM PDT

jloski I will pray for you as you go thru this time in your life.  I will also pray that God will continue to work on your husband's heart. RIC

Posted on March 15, 2008 9:18:52 AM PDT

jloski, I am praying for you! RIC

Posted on March 15, 2008 9:18:10 AM PDT

I saw someone else had mentioned the book, "LOVE AND RESPECT" by Emerson Eggerichs, and I cannot speak enough volumes about how this book has dramatically changed my marriage for the better.  Another good book is "Rescue Your Love Life" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.  With prayer, open communication, forgiveness, respect, love, and these books, a marriage can turnaround.  I also recommend Christian counseling. RIC

Posted on February 29, 2008 9:26:20 AM PST

Sisters,

I am in desperate need for prayer.  My husband is planning on moving out. 

Some of you know, that we have come a long way and God has restored and rebuilded our marriage.  My husband is NOT a believer (I wasn't when we married) and God has softening his heart. 

All of the sudden he said he wasn't happy.  He wasn't sure why, he just wasn't.  He feels like we are missing a connection.  We have been to counseling and he says I am the perfect wife, but he needs that connection.  I don't know what to even think.  We even up to this point have not have one arguement, our sex life is striving, we talk, play and share.  I don't know what to think. 

I feel God is pulling him closer and my husband is freaking out, he is afraid.  In the mean time our family might need to go thru a divorce  so he can surrender to God. 

I want my husband to give his life to Christ and I believe this is just something that has to happen in order for God to fully rebuild and restore.  Tha last two years of our marriage have been beyond my dreams.  I am afraid of the pain that is to come for my husband, my kids and I.

Please pray for God's proctection on my family and especially for my husband.

Thanks!!

God is faithful

Posted on February 29, 2008 9:18:13 AM PST

mrssuggs-Buy and read  Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs

I believe it will open your eyes to a lot of new things and encourage you to try things a different way.